For the second straight day, emotions flowed openly from a Red Sox player, this time virtually nonstop for 25 minutes, this time from Roger Clemens, this time a potential farewell address.
``I might not be back,'' said Clemens. ``I want to pitch my last turn here. I might not pitch in this park again.''
Clemens starts today against the Yankees, tugging four K's - his children - with him to Fenway Park, not knowing whether he'll be back next season. A historic Boston baseball day or a contract tease? The winter will give a colder answer than today.
``I'm just trying to speak from my heart; I hope you understand that,'' said a clearly emotional Clemens, meeting the press one day after buddy Mike Greenwell announced he won't be back. ``I'm going to be excited coming into the ballpark. I'm going to be excited seeing the fans. Really, I don't know what reaction I'm going to have. I'm just going to try and treat it for what it is.''
Which is?
``It could be my last game here,'' said Clemens, who earlier in the week had indicated that he might not pitch today if the game were meaningless, which it is, and expressed frustration that his contract is about to expire with no new deal on the horizon. ``My family's here and I hope there's a nice crowd out there. And I hope they're very excited, and if not, I'm going to try and get them into it with some strikeouts. Most of all, I'm just hoping I give the fans a good showing.''
It will be a meaningless game by each and every baseball standard, ``but it's a reverse situation for me now,'' said Clemens, who would break his tie with Cy Young and set a franchise record with 193 career victories if he wins today. ``I've made a meaningless game meaningful enough for me to put pressure on myself to go pitch and pitch well.''
Clemens' emotions were lit by a question about his comments earlier in the week that he might skip his final turn. The righthander said he was misunderstood, that ``anyone could understand'' why he might choose not to pitch (``What if a line drive comes back and hits me in the head?''), that newspaper writers, talk show talkers and even a Red Sox telecaster jumped on him for having what he saw as common sense. ``How can I go out there and pitch and be careful?'' he said. ``I have only one speed. And that's to go all out.''
After maybe five minutes of that ``misunderstanding'' talk, Clemens continued on and on, saying his chance to break Young's records for wins and shutouts are two beacons guiding him to the mound, but possibly his last Fenway appearance in a Red Sox uniform is the ultimate lure.
``I expect to be mentally drained and I don't think I'll sleep much,'' said Clemens, who wants a four-year, guaranteed contract - somewhere. ``I've got my people here. If there's anything selfish about me starting, I would like to get this record. It would be nice to do that in front of these fans.''
Clemens kept on. Words flowing, almost nonstop. ``It's just weird being in this position,'' he said. ``This town and everything about it has made my career for what it is.''
As for whether he indeed will be gone from Boston, Clemens said, ``Honestly, I don't know. I don't know what's in the stars right now.''
One factor in his decision, said Clemens, will be the direction management takes in building the team for next season. Clemens said he will be eyeing all Boston moves closely.
``Sure, that'll have a bearing,'' he said. ``I want to go somewhere where we're going to win.''
Another factor, ``even if there is a sweet [money] deal'' from the Red Sox, said Clemens, is location. He would be willing to take less to play for a team closer to his Houston home. ``A deal here might be bigger,'' he said, ``but one somewhere else might be sweeter because it's closer to home.''
And on and on it went, Clemens reminiscing about how Red Sox ``pitchers were always second-class citizens when I got here'' and how Bobby Ojeda and Bruce Hurst ``always made me carry the ball bucket around until I won me my 20 games'' and how Fenway Park should never be replaced. ``But if they build a next one,'' he said, ``they should build an exact same model of Fenway ... except maybe have it hold 47,000 or 48,000 and maybe have those 5,000 or 6,000 [extra] seats structured somehow above the Green Monster.''
That was it, his last words, plans for a new Fenway. The old Fenway? Those words had come earlier.
``I'm going to pitch. I hope it works out well. I just hope I pitch well. I want to go out and make a good last showing.''
This story ran on page G5 of the Boston Globe on 09/28/96.